THERE are two ways of doing the vampire myth. One is to make it

genuinely scarey -- dark, brooding, atmospheric, the central figure of

the evil Count himself mysterious and terrifying.

In the other the horror is high camp, always about to tumble into

comedy, from Hammer to Carry On. There is never any doubt which

tradition Christopher Lillicrap is drawing on for his rock musical,

directed by Warren Hooper, artistic director of the Oldham Coliseum,

from where it is touring. It is billed as the bawdiest show in Britain,

but it's the bawdiness of Benny Hill and the seaside postcard.

The kinky priest who provides a narrative thread, played with gusto by

Mark Carroll, has beneath his cassock a black, skin-tight bondage

ensemble with an implausible codpiece. ''Like it?'' he asks the

audience. ''You should try wearing it!'' Suddenly, we know where we are.

It's a summer panto.

The songs are soft ballads or obvious pastiches. But the eight

supporting cast are strong, their bits of comic business excellent,

particularly in the village inn beneath Castle Dracula, where mad,

stammering innkeeper Tony Whittle draws on his recent experience in Les

Miserables to steal the show.

By the time Bogdan Kominowski finally appears as Dracula we are not in

the least surprised to find an Elvis impersonator who has swapped his

white catsuit for a black one. The Bat is Back, as his sub-Meatloaf song

may tell us, but it's a close call as to whether he's remembered to put

his teeth in. Nevertheless, it's an engaging and harmless romp but one

to which the word derivative does not do justice.